Before there was the tweet, there was the epigram. The Roman poet Martial was an expert at this art form of highly-condensed snark. Here are a few of his best bits (my own translations):
I don’t like you, Sabidius, and I don’t know why.
All I know is: I don’t like you.
– Martial, Epigrams 1.32
You ask what I get from my farm in Nomentum, Linus?
This is what I get: not seeing you.
– Martial, Epigrams 2.38
Zoilus, why are you soiling the bathtub by washing your ass in it?
If you really want to make it filthy, go soak your head!
– Martial, Epigrams 2.42
Serving exactly what it sounds like, the Quotes feature excerpts other people’s thoughts.