Quotes: I Didn’t Want to See Helpless Humans

Murderbot, the sardonic human-machine construct Security Unit who was designed to fight and kill but would rather just watch media, reflects on what makes a good story:

The latest show I was watching had started out good but turned annoying. It was about a pre-terraform survey (on a planet with completely the wrong profile for terraforming anyway, but I didn’t care about that part) that turned into a battle for survival against hostile fauna and mutant raiders. But the humans were too helpless to make it interesting and they were all getting killed. I could tell it was heading toward a depressing ending, and I just wasn’t in the mood. […] I didn’t want to see helpless humans. I’d rather see smart ones rescuing each other.

Murderbot, in Rogue Protocol

Me too, Murderbot. Me too.

Wells, Martha. Rogue Protocol. New York: Tom Doherty Associates, 2018, pp. 22-23.

A Homebrew Alchemy System for Dungeons & Dragons

In one of the Dungeons & Dragons games I DM for, there is a player who is very into the idea of gathering herbs and brewing magic potions. The base game as written doesn’t have much in the way of rules for alchemy, so we’ve just been winging it for the better part of a year. That worked, but it wasn’t as satisfying as either of us would like, so I finally sat down and brewed up a set of rules for herb-gathering and alchemy. Here’s what we’re playing with now. Feel free to use this or adapt it, if it seems like it might be a fun addition to your own games.

Alchemy

An alchemical system for Dungeons & Dragons, 5th edition.

Harvesting herbs

To collect herbs, you must be in an environment where wild plants grow. The DM will determine whether there is anything available for you to gather. Specific environments may give you advantage or disadvantage to your roll, at the DM’s discretion. Gathering herbs takes an hour.

Roll a Nature check to see whether you successfully collect herbs and how much. If you have an Herbalism kit and the proficiency to use it, you may add your proficiency bonus to the roll

Once you have harvested an area, whether you successfully gathered herbs there or not, the plants need a month to regrow before you can harvest the same area again (unless they are affected by magic that causes plant growth).

Nature checkHerbs collected
Less than 11None
11 – 151 batch
16 – 202 batches
21 – 253 batches
26 or more4 batches

For each batch of herbs you collect, roll 1d6 to determine what type of herbs you find. (You can also choose to target a specific kind of herbs when you harvest. If you do, you make your harvesting roll at disadvantage, but all herbs you collect are of the kind you want.) Keep track of how many batches of herbs you have of each type.

1d6 rollHerb type
1bark
2berries
3fungi
4leaves
5roots
6seeds

Making potions

To make potions, you must have enough herbs of the right types (1 batch of each type listed on the table below, unless the chart calls for more). Some potions require special ingredients, to be determined by the DM. Each brewing attempt consumes the given amount of herbs and takes one hour.

Roll an Arcana check to attempt to make each potion. If you have proficiency with Alchemist’s supplies, you may add your proficiency bonus to the roll. If you do not have alchemical equipment, you have disadvantage on the check. Whether the check succeeds or fails, the herbs are consumed. The DC for the check depends on the rarity of the potion you are trying to make:

Potion rarityArcana DC
Common10
Uncommon15
Rare20
Very rare25
Legendary30
  • If you succeed on your Arcana check by 4 or less, you make 1 potion of the chosen type.
  • If you succeed on your Arcana check by 5 to 9, you make 1d4 potions of the chosen type.
  • If you succeed on your Arcana check by 10 or more, you make 1d6 potions of the chosen type.

(A DM might also allow a Medicine check in place of an Arcana check, or let proficiency with a Poisoner’s kit apply to the roll, depending on what kind of potions the character is brewing.)

PotionRarityHerbs required
AntitoxinCommonBark, berries, seeds
Oil of EtherealnessRareBark, leaves x3, roots
Oil of SharpnessVery rareFungi x4, leaves x2, roots x2
Oil of SlipperinessUncommonBark, leaves, roots, seeds
Philter of LoveUncommonBerries, fungi, leaves, roots
Potion of Animal FriendshipUncommonBerries, leaves, roots, seeds
Potion of ClairvoyanceRareFungi, leaves x2, roots x2
Potion of ClimbingCommonBark, leaves, roots
Potion of DiminutionRareFungi, leaves x3, roots
Potion of FlyingVery rareBark x2, leaves x4, roots x2
Potion of Gaseous FormRareBark, leaves 2x, roots, seeds
Potion of Giant Strength (Hill)UncommonBark, leaves 2x, roots
Potion of Giant Strength (Stone/Frost)RareBark 2x, leaves 2x, roots
Potion of Giant Strength (Fire)RareBark 2x, leaves 2x, roots
Potion of Giant Strength (Cloud)Very rareBark 3x, leaves 3x, roots
Potion of Giant Strength (Storm)LegendaryBark 4x, leaves 4x, roots, special
Potion of GrowthUncommonBark, leaves 2x, seeds
Potion of HealingCommonBerries, leaves, seeds
Potion of Greater HealingUncommonBerries 2x, leaves, seeds
Potion of Superior HealingRareBerries 2x, leaves, seeds 2x
Potion of Supreme HealingVery rareBerries 3x, leaves 2x, seeds 2x
Potion of HeroismRareBark, berries, leaves, roots, seeds
Potion of InvisibilityVery rareLeaves 3x, roots 2x, seeds
Potion of InvulnerabilityRareBark 2x, leaves, roots, seeds
Potion of Mind ReadingRareFungi, leaves, roots 2x, seeds
Potion of PoisonUncommonFungi 2x, roots, seeds
Potion of ResistanceUncommonBark, berries, roots, seeds
Potion of SpeedVery rareFungi 2x, leaves 2x, roots 2x
Potion of Water BreathingUncommonBark, berries, leaves, roots
Restorative OintmentUncommonBark, berries, seeds 2x
Sovereign GlueLegendaryBark 2x, fungi, leaves 2x, roots 4x, special
Universal SolventLegendaryBerries, fungi 3x, leaves, seeds 2x, roots 2x, special

The table above includes only items listed in the Systems Reference Document released by Wizards of the Coast under Creative Commons. If you want to expand this table to include other potions and items, you can apply the following principles:

Determine how many ingredients the potion requires. The number of ingredients depends on the rarity of the potion.

RarityIngredients
Common3
Uncommon4
Rare5
Very rare6 – 7
Legendary9 plus a special ingredient

Determine which ingredients are needed. The table below gives some general suggestions, but feel free to choose whichever ones feel right for the potion in question.

IngredientFunction
barkprotection, endurance
berrieshealing, strength
fungiharm, power
leavestransformation, deception
rootscreation, discovery
seedsrestoration, growth

Images: Algorithmically generated images made with Night Cafe: alchemist’s workshop, forest, potion bottle

Someone Liked Our Rohan Recipes

Well, how about that!

We just discovered that our recipes for the Riders of Rohan were referenced in a piece of Middle Earth fanfiction over on Archive of Our Own. The story is called “she had a spirit and courage at least the match of yours” by shOokspeared, and it’s a lovely little slice-of-life tale following Éowyn on a visit to the Shire in the days of peace after the War of the Ring. In a letter home to her husband Faramir, Éowyn mentions enjoying the familiar tastes of braised beef and saffron and cream pancakes for lunch with her Hobbit friends one day.

We’re astonished and delighted to see that our work is still interesting and useful to others!

Quotes: Gwladys or Ysobel or Ethyl

Complaining about “kids these days” with strangely-spelled names is a well that never runs dry. It’s also an older habit than many who indulge in it would think. Here’s a bit from a 1930 P. G. Wodehouse story where Bertie Wooster’s Aunt Dahlia chides him for falling in love with a young lady with an eccentrically-spelled name.

‘Yes, Aunt Dahlia,’ I said, ‘you have guessed my secret. I do indeed love.’

‘Who is she?’

‘A Miss Pendlebury. Christian name, Gwladys. She spells it with a “w”.’

‘With a “g”, you mean.’

‘With a “w” and a “g”.’

‘Not Gwladys?’

‘That’s it.’

The relative uttered a yowl.

‘You sit there and tell me you haven’t enough sense to steer clear of a girl who calls herself Gwladys? Listen Bertie,’ said Aunt Dahlia earnestly, ‘I’m an older woman than you are – well, you know what I mean – and I can tell you a thing or two. And one of them is that no good can come of association with anything labelled Gwladys or Ysobel or Ethyl or Mabelle or Kathryn. But particularly Gwladys.’




P. G. Wodehouse, “The Spot of Art”

The next time someone gets in a snit about Kaytlynn, Jaxson, or Alexzandre, you can let them know they’re part of a tradition at least a century old.

Wodehouse, P. G. “The Spot of Art.” Very Good, Jeeves. First published 1930. Reprinted in The Jeeves Omnibus. Vol. 3. London: Hutchinson, 1991, p. 460.

Happy Midsummer

Midsummer will be upon us at the end of this week (or midwinter, depending on your hemisphere). In Finland, this is one of the most important holidays of the year, and we’ll be taking time out to relax and enjoy the long, light days. Whatever your midsummer plans may be, we wish you all a very happy one, whether you’re out reconnecting with nature, staying home to read a good book, or just going about your business as usual.

Image by Erik Jensen

One (or More) Rings to Rule Them All

For an artifact as iconic as the One Ring from Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings, it’s not surprising that people have come up with some creative versions of their own. Here are a few interesting ones that could be yours if you want!

If you want a classic ring that you can wear on your finger or as a pendant, TimJewelerCo makes them, both in gold and in silver. As a bonus feature, the Elvish writing on the band glows in the dark!

Glow in the Dark Elvish Ring Necklace by TimJewelerCo via Etsy

For a different take on what you can do with a ring, 3DMadeGifts makes a scaled-up version as a shallow planter. Now your potted succulents can enjoy the power of everlasting evil.

Gold Ring of Power One Ring Succulent Planter by 3dMadeGifts via Etsy

Or roll for initiative with this ring-themed dice set from DracaenaDraco. One die to roll them all!

Lord of the Rings Dice Set by DracaenaDraco via Etsy

All these products are available on Etsy, if you want to get a good head start on holiday shopping.

Quotes: Women Have Also Painted

The ancient Roman naturalist Pliny the Elder wrote a good deal about painting. His interest stemmed from curiosity about which plants and minerals were used to make make pigments, but he also recorded the names of famous artists and some details about their paintings.

Unlike the stretched canvases we are used to today, ancient painters worked on wooden panels, of which extremely few survive, or on plastered walls, a few of which have survived in places like Pompeii and Dura-Europus. Most of the famous painters of antiquity were men, but Pliny makes sure to note that women also took up the brush.

Women have also painted. Timarete, daughter of Micon, created the very old panel painting of Artemis of Ephesus. Irene, daughter and student of the painter Cratinus, painted an Eleusinian maiden, Calypso, Theodorus the juggler, and Alcisthenes the dancer. Aristarete, daughter and student of Nearchus, painted Aesculapius. Iaia of Cyzicus, who was a lifelong virgin, painted and engraved ivory at Rome during the youth of Marcus Varro [late second century BCE]. She mostly made images of women, including a large panel painting of an old woman at Naples, as well as a self-portrait made using a mirror. Nobody had a faster hand for painting than she did, and in fact she was so accomplished an artist that the prices for her works far exceeded those commanded by Sopolis and Dionysius, who were the most celebrated portrait painters of the time and whose paintings fill the galleries. A certain Olympias was also a painter, but all that is recorded about her is that Autobulus was her student.


Pliny the Elder, Natural History 35.147-48 (=35.40)

(My own translation)

Women created famous works, were paid well for their craft, and taught others. It is unsurprising that some of these women were daughters of well-known male painters, since art was often a family business in the ancient Mediterranean.

Wooden panel paintings were among the most highly-prized forms of art in ancient Greece and Rome. Thanks to writers like Pliny, we know more about the famous painters of antiquity and their paintings than we would ever know from the few examples that survive today. It is good to have evidence that women, too, took part in this prestigious art form.

Image: Women preparing for a ritual, cropped from a photograph by WolfgangRieger via Wikimedia (Pompeii, Villa of the Mysteries; 1st c. BCE; fresco)

Barbarian Migrations: The Imaginary and the Real

Previously we considered how large the groups of people who moved around the ancient world actually were and what challenges such large groups faced in migrating from one place to another.

The idea of large, cohesive groups traveling across the map to resettle elsewhere is largely a product of two things: ancient literary conventions and modern historiography. Ancient Mediterranean writers had their own literary habits. Among them was positing large groups of people picking up and resettling elsewhere as a way of explaining cultural relationships (such as, for instance, the legend that the Romans were the descendants of Trojans, or that the Spartans were long-lost kin of the Jews). These stories were not based in any reality but served the literary and political needs of those who told them.

Modern historians of the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries approached ancient history with the assumption that ethnic groups were coherent units with definable traits whose history could be traced across time and space. There was, they believed, a distinct “Gothic” or “Celtic” character that could be identified in literature and art and that marked the movement of whole peoples to replace or subjugate others. These assumptions were grounded in the systems of modern imperialism and the ideals of Romantic nationalist movements, not the realities of ancient history, but they shaped how scholars read ancient literary sources. The idea that there were mass migrations across Europe at any point in antiquity is largely a figment of the modern imagination.

When we revisit the ancient sources and the archaeological evidence, we can identify several different kinds of movement, each of which faced different versions of the problems outlined above and had different ways of dealing with them.

Long-term movement: Many of the “migrations” identified by nineteenth-century scholars are better understood as the result of small groups of people such as families, extended kin groups, or raiding parties taking similar routes over time. Each individual group was small enough to travel without overstraining the resources of the lands they moved through, but many such groups taking the same journey over an extended time period could eventually lead to significant shifts in population and local culture. This kind of movement can be seen for example in the migration of Gaulish warbands into northern Italy in the fifth and fourth centuries BCE and the large-scale shift of populations from northern and western Europe into the southern and eastern Mediterranean in the later centuries of the Roman Empire.

Armies: Other movements did involve large groups of people moving within a short time frame, and are best understood as armies on the march, attended by followers and hangers-on. The frontier peoples of the late Roman period were deeply interconnected with the Roman world. Under their own leaders, they competed for power and wealth in much the same way that Roman armies competed to put their leaders into power. Many of these groups included veterans of the Roman army and had diplomatic relations with the Roman elite. Their movements were directed at political ends, and they drew on the same resources that Roman armies did to manage the logistics of travel. The late Roman Franks and Vandals, for example, functioned essentially as armies with large civilian followings.

Refugees: Other groups of people moved en masse not by choice but because the alternative was worse. Economic and political changes could uproot some people and force them to relocate, whether they were prepared for a journey or not. Those forced to relocate could face extreme hardship, just as modern refugees too often do. We can get an idea of how desperate ancient refugees could be from accounts of peoples crossing into eastern Roman territory in the late fourth century selling their fellow refugees to the Romans as slaves at bargain prices just to feed themselves. Refugees faced the same challenges that traveling armies did, but with none of the same support; these groups probably lost many members along the way to illness, hunger, combat, or enslavement. Refugee groups include the Cimbri and Teutones in the late second century BCE and the Visigoths in the fourth century CE.

Migrating groups in antiquity were mostly small. The idea of barbarian hordes hundred of thousands strong is more fiction than history. Those who did travel in large groups mostly did so either as organized armies drawing on the same logistical resources that other ancient armies did or as refugees driven by desperation who managed the best they could under terrible circumstances.

The idea of massive hordes of barbarians migrating at once across the ancient landscape is a figment of the imagination, but that doesn’t mean that they ancient world was static. People moved, and sometimes they moved in large groups, but any such group faced enormous practical challenges. Some groups were in a position to overcome these challenges; many were not. “Barbarian” peoples did not have any special way of overcoming the practical problems of migration. They solved those problems the same way that other peoples did, in small groups, as armies, or as refugees.

Image: “Battle of Guadalete,” photograph by Christie’s via Wikimedia (1882; oil on panel; by Mariano Barbasán Lagueruela)

Barbarian Migrations: Logistics

In a previous post, we considered the sizes of migrating groups in antiquity. We can probably dismiss any idea of hundreds of thousands of people pouring across the Roman Empire, but the challenges of moving even 10,000 people long distances in ancient conditions are significant.

People need things: clothing, bedding, medicine, tools, weapons, and most of all food and water. People on the road have to make do with less, but some things are still essential for survival and must be either carried with the group or found along the way. The more stuff people carry with them, the slower they move and the longer it takes for them to get to a place where they can settle down and start rebuilding; the faster people move, the less they can carry with them and the more they have to either rely on finding what they need along the way or suffer without. The logistics for moving a large group of people are always a compromise between stuff and speed.

The amount of stuff people can carry is limited. A healthy adult can typically carry around 20-25 kilos and still manage to walk long distances. Trained individuals can carry more, but people who can manage this feat are few, and in a large group will be outweighed by the young, elderly, sick, and disabled who can carry less. Animals can add to carrying capacity, but they also create greater demands for food, water, and medical care; carts or sledges can add capacity, but they are slower and limit what terrain a group can cover. The best way to carry large amounts of stuff long distances is over water, but this also limits what routes a group can take.

Healthy adults traveling by foot in good conditions can typically maintain a walking pace of about 4-5 kilometers an hour, and keep up that pace for hours at a time, covering between 20 and 40 km a day, but large migrating groups were not all made up of healthy adults and did not always have the luxury of traveling in fair conditions. A large group traveling across country would have been slow, and the larger the group, the slower it would have traveled.

The most important supplies for a traveling group are food and water. In extreme circumstances people can do without bedding, tools, weapons, even clothes, but if they run out of food and water they are done for. The average adult needs about 1.5 kilos of food and 1.5 liters of drinking water every day to sustain the exertion of long-distance travel by foot. Fresh water is available from wild sources across many parts of the temperate world, but large groups can exhaust local supplies. Some amount of food can be foraged or hunted in the wild, but there are very few landscapes anywhere rich enough in wild food sources to sustain a group of 10,000 while still allowing them time to make significant progress on their journey. A large group of people traveling across an ancient landscape had only two practical choices: carry food with them, or acquire it from the farms and fields of the regions they passed through.

Carrying your own food for a journey is helpful, but it has limits. Considering that typical adult carrying capacity is 20-25 kilos, and an adult needs 1.5 kilos of food a day, even a person carrying nothing but food can only carry about two weeks’ worth of rations. Carrying that much food means sacrificing any other gear, even the tools to prepare and cook the food with. In a large group including young, old, sick, and disabled, some people have to carry food for others. Even in the best conditions, a large group traveling overland could carry its own food for only about 10 days. Adding pack animals does not help the situation, because the proportion between what a horse, donkey, or camel eats and how much food it needs to sustain itself is the same as for a human being: even a pack animal loaded with nothing but food will eat up its entire cargo in less than two weeks. Allowing animals to graze extends the number of days they can go, but also slows them down. A large group traveling for 10 days might just be able to carry all their essential supplies with them. 10 days of travel would allow them to cover a distance of at best around 200 km, but in practice most migrating groups could not maintain such a speed. Realistically, any large group undertaking a long journey would have to acquire food (and other supplies) from the regions they traveled through.

Acquiring supplies locally is its own challenge. Ancient agriculture was of limited productivity. Most ancient farming towns did not produce a large surplus. Large migrating groups were unlikely to be carrying with them either trade goods or cash sufficient to buy or barter for all the food they needed (unless they were willing to sell off some of their own number as slaves). Any large migrating group probably reached a point, willingly or not, where they had no option but to take by force the food they needed to keep going. Such raiding surely provoked the local population to either fight back or hide their food supplies, either of which was another problem for the migrating group that slowed down their travel and stretched their resources.

Now, all of these problems did have solutions in ancient conditions. They are essentially the same problems that an army on the march faced, and there were plenty of armies in the ancient world, some of which may even have numbered in the hundreds of thousands. Armies, though, had two advantages that migrating groups did not: 1) they were mostly made up of healthy adults, and 2) they had the financial and logistical support of a state behind them. Groups of people that did not have these two advantages faced serious challenges if they wanted to move long distances en masse.

Next time, we’ll put together what we know about the realities of numbers and logistics to see what we can say about what a “barbarian migration” might have actually looked like.

Image: Huns via Wikimedia (1910; painting; by Georges-Antoine Rochegrosse)